Cheeburger Cheeburger is here! Set at street level in Les Cours Mont-Royal, the American-born build your own burger joint is hard to miss. The pink walls and retro 50’s diner-esque vibe give it an everyday-man-like quality that stands out against the posh stores that fill the space. Everything on the menu is high calorie and high fat; there’s no room here for that be-skinny-don’t-eat nonsense. In that mindset, wet your appetite with soda in a branded Mason jar or indulge in a customized milkshake while you wait for the monstrous feast that’s about to go down.
Each personalized burger starts with Canadian Angus Beef supposedly raised without the use of antibiotics, hormones or steroids. Shipped daily from the Beretta Ranch, fresh never frozen, all patties are cooked to order so be prepared to wait at least 15 minutes. From 5.5oz to 20oz patties with prices increasing accordingly, amateur to pro burger guzzlers and everyone in between can meet their match. At no additional cost, pair it with your choice of cheese and desired toppings. If you want extra cheese, or specialty toppings, expect to dish out a little more cash.
Stacked from the bottom up my burger contained shredded lettuce, the Semi-Serious, Pepper Jack cheese, tomatoes, pickles, roasted red peppers and onions; a well-balanced set dressed with honey mustard and mayo, nestled in a soft bun and crowned with a green olive. Not knowing what to expect, I cautiously savored and analyzed the first bite, my eyes widening and head progressively shaking up and down in awe of awesome.
The Semi-Serious, billed as Everybody’s Favorite, is a hefty simply seasoned 1/3 lb wonder. Prepared medium-well at my request, almost browned throughout with a barely pink center, it was surprisingly juicy. The peppery cheese softened and stretched from the heat of the meat added a little extra grease, and the crucial melt factor helped bind the ingredients together. Rounding out and shifting everything into balance, my vegetable quartet and condiments were sensible but highly satisfying choices. Sadly, the bun didn’t fulfill its burger duties. Its soft and delicate nature was problematic, particularly with the bottom half. It absorbed all the liquid it possibly could, and in that poor state the weight of the ingredients pressed it down, molding it into thin, floppy and soggy bread – so not ideal. Remarkably, that didn’t rain on my love parade. Sure it was short of perfection, but it was a damn good burger.
It was a messy eat. Thank goodness for the paper towel roll on the table. Things didn’t stay in place, generally I never expect them to, but this was a different case. Things slipped and slid, fell out, trickled down – there was no way to eat it like a “lady”. Well, they did serve it with cutlery, but who eats a burger with a knife and fork? I sure as hell don’t. So I rolled up my sleeves and got a little dirty.
Couple it with fries, onions rings or a combination of both for an additional fee. The fries, cut fresh with skin intact, were decent when hot but turned tough and dry as they cooled down. I really didn’t care for them. I was impressed with the onion rings at my first visit, they were lightly battered, crisp on the outside, slightly wilted and zingy inside, but on my subsequent trip, they were limp and drenched in oil. Talk about a complete 180. If they can maintain consistency, the onion rings are a tastier bet, but if they don’t you risk getting a basket of disappointment. Everything is fried in peanut oil, so peanut-allergy sufferers beware.
They’ve got four types of dipping sauces to accompany your fried goods, but they don't come free. Between the four: Cheese, Jalapeno, Horseradish and Vegetable Garden, I could only tolerate the last two. Gooey fake-cheese-flavored anything gives me the heebie jeebies, and the jalapeno one tasted like ranch gone bad. The others were significantly better, but nothing worth creaming your pants over. There’s a bottle of ketchup on the table and that’ll simply do.
All in all, come for the burgers, and come hungry. I dig the casual down-to-earth atmosphere and attentive (maybe a little too eager to please) service too. Ultimately, the burgers in all their greasy, beastly, unpretentious and delicious glory really hit the spot. That craveable sensation prompted two visits to Cheeburger Cheeburger in the last week with a third one in the works! To my arteries’ dismay, I have a feeling I’m going to be a regular.
N.B. Food fried in Peanut Oil